(BOOK COMING SOON)

 

This was when I discovered that I'm an experimentalist but I was not celebrated for it, so I managed to turn injustice into something I can survive by turning the pain and anger springing from it into love, and somehow it worked... my artwork and song Crush Your Dreams represent this phase. 

 

This depression chapter was when I went mad as I reached my last straw so I tried creating artworks from my phone using mixed media as it was the only way available for me to make art back then and express myself in any way, shape, or form... 

 

Since my Wi'Am phase in 2021 and all the way up to December of the year 2022, I was a mental mess, alone, broke and broken, and yet, I kept working hard on finding myself any opportunities, but when you keep failing for so long every day and night, you end up giving up hope and belief in yourself, especially when you have no support about you all the while you're still completely drenched in the heavy rain of anxiety and fear of the future whilst also haunted by the many ghosts of traumas from the past, yet I survived...

 

Art is all about telling stories and sharing thoughts and feelings, but I was not spared any chance, brushing aside my painful and long tale that includes me surviving three years of homlessness all alone as a young immigrant just because I do 'way too many things' and 'look better off', not even thinking about my old Man'Si paintings that included 'Tsunami' , 'By My Side' , and 'Breakfast'  to think about the recognition they really deserve, but I didn't care and pushed forward because I trusted the universe for providing those who strive.
 

In my Art Scientist era, I have lost motivation and purpose of making paintings because I was too poor to afford for materials, and because I had no digital drawing tablets, I solely relied on using my phone to make art, I just wanted to make art somehow... so I took and used pictures using my phone then edited them by mixing and fixing them into bizarre artworks, turning pain into beauty as always, depression to fun, and stretching my own 'Virtual Exhibition' here on my website just to make my dream true for somebody, anybody out there to see me and my story.

 

I thought that being so experimental then must be my curse even though it meant being real, and creatively original, so I was deeply depressed until when the title 'The Art Scientist' descended upon me like a holy book in my solemn cave of solitude one silent night, it made sense to me and I felt understood at last, I felt real, 'Finally, I have a face.' I told my fans online back then because that's how dark my thoughts were. A little more enthusiastic about life again as I've finally found and met myself, I have ended up becoming mad... in a good way where it made me happy; I was made to become a mad art scientist where people understood it or not because the universe does. It wasn't me who gave myself this title. 

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